Something Good

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I am not good at remembering this.  My husband is, but for the most part, not me.  Sometimes, I have a tendency to let one thing change the course of my day... do you know what I mean?  Not necessarily little things, like when someone cuts me off while I'm driving, or is impatient with me when I shop.  But things that are a little bit bigger...like when I unintentionally offend someone who is important to me, or when I argue with my mom.  These things have a tendency to alter how I feel about my day.

I have definitely gotten better at this over the years -- especially since my husband and I first got together, since he is just a genuinely positive person.  The other night, we watched the movie The Secret and I was struck by the notion that so much of life revolves around the concept of positive thinking.  My mom, of course, has been telling me all along, as she is such a uniquely optimistic person, as well.  But I have most often spent so much time and energy on things that bother me, rather than 

thanking God for all of the many blessings in my life.

Case in point: Over the past few months that I have been in school, I have been working on a paper for one of my classes that is worth a quarter of my overall course grade.  This paper = a big deal.  I worked away at it for many hours, days, sleepless nights.  I turned it in, and last week I got it back.  I earned a ninety-five percent.  And I was upset.

I was so bummed that I didn't get every point that I could.  I was even more sad when the comments that my teacher made were in the "good job" realm.  My view?  Good does not equal great.  And so there I was, an 'A' on the biggest assignment of the entire semester, but I was sad!  I called my husband and told him how I was feeling, and he was ecstatic for me, because he knew that I had worked so hard on that paper.  After I thought about it for a while, I realized that this could be a teachable moment for me.  I did my best.  And that's all that matters.  And so, there's the good in that day -- my takeaway. Something to be proud of.  And I didn't let it change my entire day -- in fact, I was happy, and happy to be happy.  It was...wonderful.

Being hard on myself has been a trend in my life.  Not finding the good in each day has been my downfall.  So, I'm making a promise to myself to find that good piece, the beautiful pebble, even in a wash of sand, and hold it tight, smiling because I have found what is important -- I have found that blessing.

How do you find the good in each day?  Are you a generally positive person, or do you struggle to let the little things go?

xo,

maria

Friendships That Matter

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This used to be me.  And, I'll admit, sometimes still is.  Ever since I was old enough to have friends, I have had a few really good ones at once.  I was always friend-ly with most everyone I met, but in terms of who I hung out with, who I called when I was having a bad day, or who I trusted with information that I thought was important to keep under-wraps, there were always only a few.

I have had friends who I have been really close with, and then something happens that is big enough that it turns the entire friendship into something else...a, well, acquaintanceship.  Sometimes it's hard when this happens, and other times, things just sort of fall into place that way over time, and before I can realize it, the relationship has been redefined.

Some of my friendships have been fierce in the beginning -- always hanging out, calling each other, hanging out nonstop; and then, all of a sudden, nothing.  No hard feelings, no betrayal, just dwindled interest for maintaining that connection.

And then, there is the other sort of 'friendship break-up' -- that which comes from bad behavior...something that has been said or done to hurt one or the other person.  Or both, as some cases may be.  The kind that manifests itself in your heart of hearts as a memory of the way things used to be...  I have one friendship like this in my repertoire, and I dearly miss this person.  I think it would definitely be safe for me to say that after the dissolution of the relationship I had with this person, I became choosier when it came to selecting who I would spend a lot of time with.  I didn't want to hurt anyone, and I didn't want anyone to hurt me.

Can anyone relate to this?  This feeling of loss, even though something may have been lost so many years (and what feels like lifetimes) ago?

However sad an ending friendship can be, I have found myself, over time, in a position where new friendships are budding, and old ones are flourishing.  I just had lunch the other day with someone who I feel is such a kindred spirit with me already -- and our past is linked in a funny way too, interestingly enough.  We went to the same elementary school and middle school, at the same time, and here we are now -- her boyfriend is one of my husband's best friends, and we found ourselves meeting up for lunch the other day.

I have my bestest friend, a person who brings me such joy and is honestly one of the funniest people I have ever met in my life -- and the sweetest.  She is incredibly into nature and all things forest-y, and I learn so much from her, and she offers the best advice.  She was the Maid of Honor in my wedding, and honestly, it couldn't have been anyone else.  

Another very dear friend to me is someone who I look up to for so many reasons.  Her positivity, her zest and passion for healthy living, and her incredible kindness and acceptance for everyone are things that I admire.  

I feel as though I have been on a journey to make these friends for a long time, and although the pain of past friendships still lingers, today, and tomorrow, and the day after that...I know that, with time, it will be less so.

What are your experiences with friendships?  What is important to you in a friend?  And do you relate to me in that some friendships have just not worked out long-term?

xo,

maria